The Chef's Cookbook » NakedChef

Caffeine addict quiz

TheSaltyChef — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 15:01:54 +0000

Do you want to know if you suffer from “Alertness Deficit Disorder” (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz. These questions will help us to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction; the only known cure for which is caffeine. ADD takes the lives of millions of Americans, hundreds of Canadians, and a handful of Ugandans every year. If that doesn’t scare you, let’s just say that you are more susceptible than anyone else. YES, YOU! If you suffer from this disease, missing just one trip to Starbucks could be FATAL. The following series of Yes/No questions will allow us to determine your Addiction Factor(TM). Keep track of the number of Yes and No answers you get and chart yourself at the end. Remember: Prevention is the best medicine. Or was it laughter? Either way, read on.

1. Do you use coffee to escape from your problems?

2. Do you eat spoonfuls of instant coffee because it’s easier?

3. Have you ever woken up in a puddle of your own coffee?

4. Do you find that it’s easier to drink more coffee than go to sleep?

a) Have you ever drunk cold coffee?

b) Right out of the pot?

6. Do you spend more than 20% of your income on coffee and/or coffee related products?

7. Does your coffee cup resemble a beer stein?

8. Has anyone ever told you that you “have a problem”?

9. Do you need coffee:

a) …to get up in the morning?

b) …to get out of bed?

c) …to be injected intravenously to stimulate blood-flow?

10. Do you own a “Coffee Helmet”? (For the culturally ignorant, a coffee- helmet is a hat with coffee-cups attached to it and a straw coming out of each cup leading to the mouth, used for hands-free drinking.)

11. Do Native North American Aboriginal Indian Peoples call you “Ona mac towanda” (Smells-like- coffee)?

12. Does your doctor measure your heartbeat on the Richter scale as well as by its frequency?

13. Have you ever sold personal or other people’s possessions just to get your fix for the day?

14. Does the phrase “swiss water decaffienated” strike terror into your heart?

15.

a) Do you have a coffee maker in more than one room of your house?

b) …in more than five?

c) …in your bathroom?

16.

a) Do the people at Second Cup refuse do give you free coffee cards anymore?

b) …because you’re wearing out their hole-punch?

c) …and it’s bad for the environment?

17. Do you grind your own coffee?

18. Do you grow your own coffee?

19. Have you ever been fired from a job because you’re “drinking their profits”?

20.

a) Do you know Juan Valdez?

b) …and his donkey?

c) …intimately?

21. Do you salivate uncontrollably whenever you hear dripping water?

22.

a) Is sleep a hobby of yours?

b) …that you don’t like?

c) …because it’s too frustrating?

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Top ten ways to annoy your waiter

TheSaltyChef — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 15:58:31 +0000

10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.

9. Ask, “Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?”

8. After he describes each special, you shout, “Garbage!”

7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, “Minimum wage”.

6. Every few seconds, yell, “More waffles, Cuomo!”

5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.

4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, “You wouldn’t charge Superman for dinner, would you?”

3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.

2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, “He’s gonna spit in the chowder!”

1. Three words: eat the check.

Easy Ways to Cook Whole Grains

Day 5 Detox

TheSaltyChef — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 06:06:51 +0000

I don’t know what is wrong with me, I fell off the wagon LOL. I just wanted to eat what I wanted to eat, when I wanted it!

My detox is broken, but what I learned from all this is that by making some adjustments to some things I eat, I think will be very beneficial in the long run. Hubby learned that he likes Greek yogurt too!

Day 4 Detox

TheSaltyChef — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 06:06:42 +0000

Okay, so this is not so bad. I actually am liking all the things on the menu. The thing that still really haunts me is not snacking. I sat down to watch a movie and that was really tough!

All in all it is going well. I do feel healthier, so I guess that is the point.

For breakfast I had oatmeal and a sliced apple, for lunch a small salad with grilled chicken and red wine dressing and for dinner grilled portabello mushroom caps stuffed with sundried tomatoes, spinach brushed with olive oil and black pepper.

I think I am going to make it!

Day 3 Detox

TheSaltyChef — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 04:51:05 +0000

Today was challenging. I was out the whole day and in meetings. Hard to resit at restaurants, but I did and only ordered the items that fell into the approved foods to eat.

I will be glad when this week is done! I want a big brownie, but I will have to wait…..

I had yogurt and granola for breakfast. For lunch I had a salad with a grilled chicken breast. For dinner I had broiled salmon with steamed broccoli.

Day 2 Detox

TheSaltyChef — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 01:00:28 +0000

Well another day I have made it. I am okay, the meals are not all that bad, they are filling for the most part, just have a hard time not snacking!

Today I had an egg white scramble with diced zucchini and fruit. for lunch I had a turkey wrap with a whole wheat tortilla, and that was good. For dinner I made a pasta dish with whole wheat pasta, fresh cherry tomato sauce with basil and veggies.

Simple Apple Pie Dessert.

Nuke 1/2 and apple, sliced thin for 1 min, then top with granola and 1 tbsp Greek yogurt and a splash of cinnamon. Actually this is good!

Here is to another day!

Day 1 Detox

TheSaltyChef — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:27:41 +0000

So I made it though the day on the diet…….Feeling hungry but the main meals are filling. The part I had trouble with is not snacking whenever I want.

For breakfast I had Egg white scramble with red bell peppers, squash and onions. I wrapped that in a whole wheat tortilla and topped with organic salsa. Then I had 1/4 cup sliced fruit with 2 TBSP Greek Yogurt.

For lunch I had a Turkey Lettuce wrap. I took 2 slices turkey, broccoli spouts, carrots and cucumber and put a light vinaigrette and then rolled that up.

For Dinner I had baked Salmon, with a 1/2 baked sweet potato with olive oil spread and pumpkin pie spiced seasoning and a corn and Lima bean mix.

My snacks are consisting of Special K crisp bars, fruit, nuts, string cheese, veggies with hummus dip.

Actually I feel good.

I also have been using this detox tea

It does not taste too good, but is tolerable.

I will check in tomorrow, let you all know how things are!

Funny Food Quotes

TheSaltyChef — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 02:02:44 +0000

Mosquitos remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think. ~Tom Wilson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food! ~W.C. Fields

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. ~Mark Twain

The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook. ~Julia Child

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food-frequently there must be a beverage. ~Woody Allen

You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I’m not hungry enough to eat six. ~Yogi Berra

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. ~Rodney Dangerfield

Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of those pieces. ~Judith Viorst

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that it achieves its maximum flavor potential. ~Mitch Hedburg

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth – something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food – just watch it, don’t eat it. ~Edward Koch

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ~Fran Lebowitz

I eat merely to put food out of my mind. ~N.F. Simpson

When I get a little money, I buy books. And if there is any left over, I buy food. ~Desiderius Erasmus

Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian, wine and tarragon make it French, sour cream makes it Russian, lemon and cinnamon make it Greek, soy sauce makes it Chinese, garlic makes it good. ~Alice May Brock

Health food makes me sick. ~Calvin Trillin

Music with dinner is an insult to both the cook and the violinist. ~G.K. Chesterton

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. ~George Bernard Shaw

The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse. ~Jules Renard

A dinner lubricates business. ~Lord William Sowell

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be engaged in lightly. ~M.F.K. Fisher

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. ~Mark Twain

I went into McDonald’s yesterday and said, “I’d like some fries.” And the girl behind the counter says, “Would you like fries with that?” ~Jay Leno

Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are. ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are. ~Adelle Davis

Naked Chef–Beware Of Fryers!

TheSaltyChef — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:38:46 +0000

Fryers are very dangerous! The oil runs hot at about 350F to 400F. Yesterday was any other day for Joe. Why on this day he decided to do this we all will never know….

Joe thought it would be a good idea to stand on the fryer to clean the vents in the hood above it. At this moment Joe thought that he had made a mistake as the fryer wobbled and tipped over spilling all the hot oil all over and all over him. He received minor burns but it could have been a lot worse!

Never stand on a fryer, no matter what!

In The Raw

TheSaltyChef — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 19:55:56 +0000

There is this girl, she wants to impress this guy, so she decides to cook for him. She decides that Chicken Quesadillas would be something that he would really like. She takes tortillas and stuffs raw chicken and cheese into the tortillas and folds them up and places them in the oven. After a few minutes they begin to turn brown and look done—-on the outside. She takes them out and cuts them and places on it on a plate and serves it to the guy. To his surprise the chicken was still raw. The girl was very embarrassed, but quickly learned that you must use pre-cooked chicken for this sort of snack!

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